Strenghtening Muslim Families in the Changing Society
Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a seminar with the theme as mentioned in the title of this post. I was interested to attend the seminar because first of all, I believe the knowledge will be very useful for myself, and second, I was interested with the speaker, Dr. Mohammed Rida Basher, an expert in parenting and family relations from Canada. It is always interesting to hear from the international speakers given the difference in their cultural background.
In brief, the seminar talks about nurturing marriage as one of the greatest gift from God, therefore there are several guidance in the form of knowledge that needs to be understood, and they are extracted directly from the Holy Qur’an. Strong marriage foundation is a very important component to undergo the responsibility of nurturing new generations. Here is my attempt to interpret the main takeaways from the seminar.
Marriage in Islam
One of the purpose in life for Muslim is to form a good and wholesome life according to the religion of Islam, and one of the means is by marrying. In Islam, marriage is highly recommended between men and women who have already meet the necessary requirements. However, in other hand marriage is also a serious matter that requires spiritual and psychological readiness. One of the verse of Qur’an goes as follows:
“And among His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves that you may find peace and tranquility in them, and He has put between you Mawadah and Rahmah. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflects” (Q.30 : 21)
The two keywords from the above verse are Mawadah and Rahmah. The two concepts represents how love is being transformed into behavior which is based on belief and righteousness. Dr. Basher mentioned these two ways in building family on Mawadah and Rahmah, which is to choose a partner based on righteousness, and also the effort in understanding the nature and objectives of marriage, especially according to Islam.
Nurturing God’s Gift in Marriage
When men and women are gathered in marriage, they’re in it for a lifetime. And of course, God just doesn’t make that happen. There are purpose and tasks that must be accomplished. One of the main purpose is to nurture’s God gift in marriage. By nature, men and women has different traits and characteristics, then add the difference in their upbringing influence and life history. There are many things that needs to be adjusted, yet they need to work together to nurture the marriage. Dr. Basher mentioned these following ways: respecting each other’s individuality; sensitive towards each other’s needs; being patience of each other’s shortcomings; compromising of each other’s needs; and appreciation of each other’s effort (to please the other). By implementing these, it clears up the nature of men and women in marriage are complements to each other, as stated by the following verse:
“…They are your garments and ye are their garments…” (Q.2 : 187)
According to the verse above, in brief, women to men, and men to women in marriage closes, adapts, covers, conceals, comforts, and beautifies each other. Moreover, beyond supporting and protecting each other, men and women are also cooperating with each other in righteousness to please their Creator.
Challenges in Changing Society
The current society’s dynamic consist of so many variables that may affect marriage and families. However, Dr. Basher mentioned with strong marital foundations that are formed based on principles of Islam should be able to help face problems and issues that may arise, especially those which are coming from the external world. Furthermore, Dr. Basher also mentioned these foundations are also crucial to excellent parenting, which consist of the following aspects: creating common vision; forming healthy and positive family atmosphere; the willingness to change and adapt with any situation; and wisdom to be passed on (being role models). In my college years, I studied about family as the main and closest unit to any being. Family is a powerful unit to internalize values and behavior to children, especially in their early ages. In line with the principle of children developmental stage, internalizing firm values in their early age will be beneficial when children are starting to enter the stage where the society has more influence on them. Since society are constantly changing, these values should help them to navigate in the right path.
I have no idea what kind of situations and challenges I will be facing in my own marriage, but this seminar has given many important highlighted perspectives to internalize, in order to prepare myself for marriage (Insya Allah). I also hope this content may somewhat bring a little perspective to my fellow brothers and sisters who are also looking forward for marriage, or even already in marriage. Wallahu A’lam Bisawab.
